Exhausted

Over the last few days, I have felt as though I've had enough. Joshua has slowly eased into some strange and exhausting sleeping habits, at least for me. He goes to bed just fine, usually Elmo, a few night night songs and no fights or anything, I think I've won and begin to settle myself down for the day. Usually, about 12am he comes stumbling into my room and crawls up in my bed, now there is nothing wrong with this, but being the good mother that I am, I wait til he is almost asleep again and gently carry him back to his own bed. He doesn't fight it, just rolls over and snuggles up with his monkey. Again, I think I've won, but a few hours later, he comes to my bed again. At this point, I am really sleeping good, so I just cuddle him up and wait for the alarm to go off in the next few hours. He doesn't seem upset when he comes to my room, so I don't really know why we are in this waking up every few hours phase again, but how easily I have forgotten what it was like to be up doing feedings and diaper changes in the middle of the night. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I really love when he sleeps with me, he will cup my face or snuggle up really close and that is worth all the sleep I'm losing.

However, all the sleep I am losing, along with the mental race I run everyday and emotional battles I've been fighting, I feel myself wearing down. So tonight, I vow to get in bed by 10pm...maybe. :)